On Shorter Men and My Continued Ambivalence toward Facial Hair.

Okay so I have a crush on a boy. 

It's true, I do.

Here's the thing:

He's 5'9" and he has a beard.

We know the height thing worked for them. 

And the beard thing works for Brian Wilson. 

Lie. The beard thing does not work for him, 

but it does work for this guy.

So I don't know, maybe there's like, a chance or something.