April 28, 2012


Once upon a time, my girl Sara got married. Sara was in the same church congregation as my grandma, so Grandma and I went to the outdoor reception together. They had a little camera set up at the reception, giving the guests ample time to have fun while eating candy and admiring the general splendor*. 
Last night, I logged into facebook for a minute and pulled off all the pictures I didn't have copies of. I found this little lovely of Grandma and I at the reception. My grandma is a nurse too, and I think she is just as splendid as this picture.

*Name the origin of that quote and you win.

April 27, 2012

A Gratitude Entry from August 3, 2011

Dear Days When My Showers Are Earned and My Sleep is Delicious,
Thanks for always reminding me why life is worth living.

April 25, 2012


Dear Shampoo,
Remember that time you exploded all over the pink Adidas swim bag that Liz gave me like a million years ago? Luckily every single thing in there was either silicon, latex, plastic, or otherwise machine washable, so I wasn't even mad.

April 20, 2012


Sometimes you go to a conference where dinner is provided. Based on your gluten free lifestyle, you email ahead of time to let them know that you'd like a gluten free meal if possible. They tell you this is no problem. When you get to the dinner, you tell two of the caterers you're gluten free and they say, "Oh great! Let us get your food." At which point, they bring you this: 
The end.

Actually, that's not the end. The ending is legitimately awesomer.
Sometimes they have chocolate mousse for dessert, and all is forgiven.

April 19, 2012

Hot Fudge Sundae

Tonight as I sat eating one of these sundaes, I realized something.
Give me the choice between any hard ice cream and a McDonald's hot fudge sundae, 
and the sundae will win every time. 
And you know the best part? They only cost a dollar.
My taste buds are my favorite. 

April 12, 2012

Rain Rain

Today's rain and the resultant earthworm revival reminded me of this.

Neuro Shock Trauma

As you know, I used to work in the Neuro Shock Trauma Intensive Care Unit.

A few months ago I told someone that, and he said:

Do you take care of people who get tased in the head?

April 11, 2012

Everybody Except You

Over the weekend, I met a little boy who just turned 5.

About 10 minutes after we met, he and I were talking.

Me: "I heard you had a big party for your birthday and everyone came."

He looked me straight in the face and said: "Everybody except you."

Nothing like a five year old to give it to you straight.

April 10, 2012

Happy Easter

Had a great Easter weekend. I'm pleased to inform you that I still hit about 1 or 2 clay pigeons for every 5 I shoot at. Should I be excited or embarrassed? You decide.

Check out these eggs I made:
Deathly hallows for James, and remember how it's baseball season?!

And look what was in my Easter basket.

Yes, that's right. Easter Bunny apron. Win.

April 3, 2012


Sometimes I decide to get my hair trimmed. It starts out looking like this:
 And then as I'm sitting in the chair, I start talking about bangs, and I end up with this: