February 17, 2016

Happiness is a series of choices.

I'm I'm sitting here sipping a cup of Crio Bru, and wondering how I am ever going to be satisfied now that I'm not doing whole30 anymore. Dessert just doesn't taste as good now, and I just want to end my meals with a hint of something sweet. Maybe I'll have to take up dark chocolate.

The great news about life, is that whole 30 has really helped my mood, in spite of my skepticism. I feel much less anxious and over all much better, happier, than I did before doing it. So there's that.

The other day at lunch with the boys, I saw this sign.
I know it was meant to be a statement about how many options you have at Pita Pit, but I've been thinking about it a lot. You see all kinds of pictures on Pinterest about how happiness is a choice and all that, but I don't buy it. Happiness is a lot more than one choice. You don't wake up one sunny Thursday morning and decide to be happy for the rest of your life. Because do you know what's gonna happen? You're going to wake up on a snowy, inverted Monday morning and you're not going to want to go to the gym. You'll want to eat nothing but carbs. You're going to be hit with a wave of depression so severe that you can barely get out of bed. Maybe it won't be those things specifically, but guaranteed, some days are just going to be hard. And happiness is deciding to do all of the hard things you know you need to do. Going to the gym when you don't feel like it. Eating healthy even when you don't want to. Lifting weights when you'd rather be laying in bed feeling miserable. Maybe even deciding to take an antidepressant for a while. And some days you won't be able to do those things. But eventually you will again. You're still going to feel miserable for a bit, but at the end of the day, the happiness will return. Because the thing about happiness is that it comes and goes in waves. Sometimes it's easy and comes naturally. Sometimes it's almost impossible. But it will come back. And you know that it will, so you'll keep making choices that will eventually make you happy again. Even if it's really hard. 

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