On Caffeine

On an unrelated note: I'm going to post about caffeine here and as part of the post, I'm going to use the three-letter f-word. As a recompense for that, I have already touched my stomach with both my hands and said, "I'm sorry. I love you," even though I'm not technically calling myself the three-letter f-word in this post.  

Dr. Michelle May once said, "Dieting is to overeating what caffeine is to chronic insomnia."

So, we all know I'm obsessed with not dieting (if you don't know that, ask me about my doctorate project sometime), but my relationship with caffeine, while less well-documented, is similar to my tumultuous relationship with Facebook. I quit drinking caffeine for months, sometimes years, at a time and then I spend a few long days in the hospital (as in, for work, not for illness) and next thing you know, I'm sucking down Diet Coke and Diet Dr. Pepper like there's it's my only source of clean water. Which leads to 2 things:

1. An unnecessarily screwy (derived from the baseball term: screwball) sleep schedule 

2. Feeling generally unhealthy, unfit, and cranky 

Based on my quick NIH search, drinking of diet soda has been associated with depression, metabolic syndrome and type 2 diabetes. 

The ever-wise Greg Behrendt once wrote, "Don't put it into your body if it will make you a sad fatty." Granted, I might have sort of paraphrased that, but I think you'll let it slide since it helps me make my point: 

Diet Soda can make you a sad fatty

And it's time for me to be done with that business.  

So, here I am, saying to you, Internet, that I am giving up diet soda. Not in the sense that I will never drink it again, not in the sense that I'm going on a diet from diet soda, but in the sense that I am going to find a balance in life that includes appropriate sleep and exercise, and I will no longer rely on caffeine as my personality, intelligence, and substitute sleep. 

As my friend Gary once said, "I either have to get enough sleep or suffer the tired consequences." 

And on that note, I'm going to turn off the Dodgers game (tied in the bottom of the sixth) and go to bed.

Sweet uncaffeinated dreams to you.