I'm in love with Taylor Swift. Not just because of this line: Go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy, that's fine, I'll tell mine you're gay.
But because, you guys, she is five eleven. Like taller than I am. Tall girls forever. And so secretly, all this time, I've been wanting her to marry Calvin Harris. Not that I know anything about him at all other than that he's hot. Well except that he's TALL. Not just tall. He's so tall. He's six six. And then they broke up and my future children cried because we just need more tall boys and more tall girls to get married and create a beautiful world in which my children have somebody to date.