June 7, 2016

Why I'm The Saddest About Taylor's Breakup

I'm in love with Taylor Swift. Not just because of this line: Go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy, that's fine, I'll tell mine you're gay.

But because, you guys, she is five eleven. Like taller than I am. Tall girls forever. And so secretly, all this time, I've been wanting her to marry Calvin Harris. Not that I know anything about him at all other than that he's hot. Well except that he's TALL. Not just tall. He's so tall. He's six six. And then they broke up and my future children cried because we just need more tall boys and more tall girls to get married and create a beautiful world in which my children have somebody to date.

1 comment:

  1. While not as tall, her new beau, Tom Be Still My Heart Hiddleston is 6'2" which is nothing to sneeze at. And he has that lovely voice and a habit of sitting like a whore. Plus, have you seen the guy with his shirt off? She traded up, if you ask me.