December 27, 2016

On consent

The other day I was on a date with a boy I had been liking quite a bit. He touched the top of my bum. And I said, "Don't touch my butt." He said, "That's not your butt, that's the small of your back." 

Later I said, "Let me explain this to you: from here to here is my butt. This is where you don't touch." And he said "Okay" and then literally grabbed a handful of my bum and started laughing. 

Can we all be clear that this is not okay? When I tell someone not to touch me and they continue to touch me that violates my boundary and violates consent. I literally had to push the man away from me and say, "That was not okay." While he continued to laugh, I began to cry.

I hope you are never in a situation where you don't feel physically safe, where you wonder if someone will take physical advantage of you. If you've ever been in that situation, I'm sorry that happened to you. 

The saddest part of all of this is that the guy thought it was really funny. I tried to explain. But he didn't get it. He thought I was being "sensitive." But let's be clear: when someone asks you not to touch them and you continue to do so, that constitutes assault. And that is not okay. Period.