Thoughts on Dating

A little over a week ago, I ran into an old friend, and we got to talking about dating. Don't worry, he's short; we were talking dating in general, not specific. During our conversation he enumerated for me the reasons he doesn't like dating. He told me he prefers to casually hang out with girls, and if it sort of turns into a date, that's cool with him, but when he goes on dates, it's just really awkward and there are all these expectations, and he really doesn't like it (run on sentence alert--mine, not his). He prefers keeping it casual with a girl and if they end up dating, cool.

I didn't state my disagreement other than to tell him that I love going on dates (It's true, I do), and if he's feeling too much pressure from his dates, it's probably because he doesn't go on many. The more dates we go on, the less of a big deal they become. But I didn't tell him how I really felt about it, part of my new attempt at life called "Sometimes you don't have to tell people exactly what you're thinking all the time."

The conversation left me a little flustered, and I've been thinking about it almost every day since I saw him, so I decided to tell you, reader, how I really feel. I fundamentally disagree with his philosophies on dating. I think that dating is good for us even when its hard. Things that are hard get easier if we practice. Dating becomes less stressful if we do it more, and we are always blessed when we follow the counsel of our living prophets. 

I agree very much with Elder Dallin Oaks, who counseled young men to, "Start with a variety of dates with a variety of young women...Men have the initiative, and you men should get on with it. If you don't know what a date is, perhaps this definition will help. I heard it from my 18-year-old granddaughter. A "date" must pass the test of three p's: (1) planned ahead, (2) paid for, and (3) paired off."

I don't want my disagreement with this gentleman to come off as bitterness or frustration, because I don't feel that way at all. I feel like young men have, in large measure, stepped up to the plate and done what Elder Oaks suggested. Lots of men are getting it right. I appreciate it so much when a young man calls me, asks me to do something specific on a specific day, picks me up at the front door, opens the car door for me, and treats me like a lady. I know it's scary, and I love that men are willing to do it. I love one-on-one conversations and getting to know men of differing backgrounds in a variety of settings. 

So to the young men who are taking the initiative and dating like Elder Oaks counseled, well done. I applaud your willingness to man up and do something that is hard and scary and risky and in the end, totally worth it. Keep up the good work. 

Curl Your Hair and Follow Your Heart

Our friend Anna's mom used to say, "Curl your hair and follow your heart."
Those of you who know me know that I'm not really one to curl my hair. Well, I take that back, sometimes I perm my hair, and every now and again, I use hot curlers to make my hair curly. The rest of the time, I rely on a complex hair braiding system to make my hair messy/wavy. But today, I took Anna's mom to heart. I hot curler'ed my hair and walked out the front door to head to the library. It was really sunny and my heart said, "Wouldn't you rather be biking?" So I walked back inside, put my curly hair in a ponytail, and went for an amazing ride. The wisdom of that decision can pretty much be summed up by the text I just sent to Jenn, "Short sleeved bike ride October 28. I love my life." Also, my hair may or may not look awesome now.

BASEBALL

Text message from me to Sam: Baseball is the only stupid thing in life that I care about.

I sent this text after an amazing game 6 of the World Series where the Cardinals made an improbable comeback aided by Mr. David Freese (which has to be the coolest last name ever?).

Got this BP photo here

I realize it wasn't really that eloquent. Sort of like Scott Van Pelt's assertion earlier this year after arguably the best day ever in sports, "Sports are better than anything else, always." After I sent the text, I realized maybe I was being a little too hyperbolic, a little too superlative. (Sometimes I do that). And also, why did I use the word stupid? (Like I said, not that eloquent. Sometimes it happens).  But I got to thinking about all the "stupid" things in life that I love. Not stupid like annoying, but like things that don't actually matter that much. Things like biking, swimming, yoga, helicopters, clear skinny-mouthed Nalgene bottles, crunching on crushed ice, reading Malcolm Gladwell, the Top 25 Most Played songs on my iPod, wanting to bike to Heber, and changing my own bike tires. None of them are really all that important, but they are important because all the little things in life, the "stupid things," as it were, help make me who I am.

So, yeah.

Hi, I'm Liz, and I LOVE baseball.

The Heart of Life

If it weren't for Cassidy Treat, I never would have loved John Mayer. If I never loved John Mayer, I never would have loved the following two songs as much as I do. She gets 50 points. Plus, she doesn't eat wheat, so that means she gets like a gagillion.

This is my favorite song for the occasional bad day.  

And this was played extensively in the Summer of 2009 when it became a sort of mantra lifestyle.

Gary

Dear Gary,
Thanks for mistaking me for a girl named Brittany, for approving my use of patches on my ripped tire, and for telling me you liked my jersey. But mostly thanks for the way that when I asked you where you'd ridden today, you said, "Oh I just did The Loop and then up and back the other side." Like it was no big deal. Like you said, you got your climbing in for the day. Also, I'm pretty sure I want to be you when I grow up.
Love,
Liz

Dear Nathan Pearson,
Thanks for having me identified in your phone as "Ward Liz Nurse." I saw that over your shoulder the other day while I was eavesdropping(?) on your text convo. Thanks for having me so succinctly identified. I'd like to submit to you: Amanda Bike, Blonde Kim, Ken Utah Valley ER Docs, and Robbie Sox. Phone nicknames are the best.
Liz


Dear Bruce,
Thanks for asking me what tribe I was from tonight at 7-Eleven. My wet hair was in braids, and I was wearing a headband, so I can see how you got confused.
Liz


Dear Lifting Weights,
Thanks for giving me an excuse to check out my muscles in the mirror for as long as I want to without looking conceited.
Liz


Dear Bekahface,
Thanks for conveniently taking that three-week-long class with me. I think you're basically the awesomest thing since sliced gluten free bread that tastes like it has gluten in it. That or flourless chocolate cake.
Liz


Dear Sun,
Thanks for coming out so much the last few days. Last night I couldn't figure out why my face was red, and then I realized it's because of YOU! You are so good for my soul, and have the added benefit of giving me lots of Vitamin D, and that's cool too.
Liz

Oh That Liz

Once Jennifer and I took her nephew Guille to a baseball game. A couple days later, Jenn and Guille drove past Miller Field
"Guille, look. That's the baseball field where we went to the baseball game with Liz."
"What Liz?"
"You know, my friend Liz. We came to the baseball game here a few days ago."
"Oh, THAT Liz. She's a nurse."

My Favorite Quote from Born to Run

Jenni has been hard-core ever since, running long miles even when Idaho is blanketed by snow. Maybe she's self-medicating against deep-seated problems, but maybe (to paraphrase Bill Clinton) there was never anything wrong with Jenni that couldn't be fixed by what's right with Jenni.

--Christopher McDougall. 

Brandon Flowers

Love him. 

Danny

Dear Danny,
Thanks for once using the analogy of a duck swimming to describe me when I feel awkward. "pretty smooth on the surface, but paddling like [crazy] underneath." I can't even tell you how many times I've referenced the thought in my life.
Liz