December 31, 2011

Resolution

I hereby resolve that in 2012, I will clean my room every single day.

December 28, 2011

THE GYM

Dear The Gym,
I'm going to savor every day with you until January 1st. After which, I will still love you with my whole heart even though I might have to avoid you a tiny bit due to throngs of New-Years Resolutioners.
Love, Liz

December 26, 2011

Listen Nena

My friend Lisha used to work at a summer camp. One time, she was trying to get a group of little kids into line. "Okay, let's line up right here." A five year old Hispanic girl looked Lisha straight in the face, whipped her finger in the air, and said, "Listen, Nena, you don't be telling me what to do."

December 25, 2011

Merry Christmas!

Read this for Christmas. Trust me.

And remember the old Luke II video? I love it too.




December 23, 2011

Reddi Whip

Today James and I came home for the annual Dad's side of the fam Christmas party. There was some Reddi Whip in the door of the fridge. I couldn't resist. I grabbed the container walked down the hall out of earshot (Mom hates it when I do this) and sprayed some straight into my mouth. YUM.

December 22, 2011

Dear Katie,
Thanks times a million for introducing me to the word sketchtacular. It's probably like the awesomest word conglomeration ever.
Love, Liz

December 21, 2011

The Wordle of My Final Paper

Want to make one? Just click here.

December 19, 2011

Bearded Guitar Playing Men

Ask me how long I've been listening to this song on repeat.
On second thought, don't. But trust me, it's a long time.
I maintain that nothing in life inspires ambivalence like a bearded man.

December 18, 2011

Bright Red Fingernails

Dear Miss Carolyn,
Thank you for this and so many other exquisite postings on your blog. Today while reading, I got carried away in your delicious prose and the form of your words. I hope my future daughter will take an English class from you. Maybe we can even connive her into going out with your future son, who I hope will be at least as tall as girls of our height love our men to be.
Love, Liz

December 17, 2011

My Thoughts on Swimming

Went swimming yesterday for the first time since 1993. Just kidding, it's only been like a month or two, but that's not the point, the point is that I'm pretty sure swimming is the most therapeutic workout ever invented (alongside biking and yoga, of course). For me, swimming looks like staring down at the black line rocking the breathing (one for two or one for three) and keeping track of laps. When I lose track of my laps, I just drop it back down to the last number I remember while repeating the glide, power, glide, power mantra and thinking about whatever it is that needs to be settled that day. But since I am so busy gliding and powering and lapping and breathing, I can't think about anything long enough to get concerned about it. Rather, my mind settles itself into the water, and by the time I leave, I am a svelter, lither version of myself with a satisfied mind and slow, steady breathing.

December 16, 2011

Hey, It's Christmas!

Dear Reader,
My Christmas present to you: two free, fabulous Christmas albums to use as the soundtrack of your life for the next week or two. Merry Christmas.
Love, Liz.

December 15, 2011

Dear Liz,
I'd like to encourage you to fold your clothes as soon as they come out of the dryer and to hang your clothes up at night rather than allow them to amass in a pile on the floor. Hypothetically speaking, of course.
Love, Yourself

GRADUATION


I didn’t finish my project in time to graduate in December. 
It sounds kind of sad, I know. But it is not.
Consider this: 
I have a deadline extension. 
A lifting of anxiety and pressure
without the need to pay more tuition or take more classes or travel to Salt Lake. 
It is the best possible option, and I am very grateful that 
things have turned out even better than I had hoped they might. Mormon 9:27

December 14, 2011

Why I Love Google

Dear Gmail, 
Thanks for doing this for me: 
I love you more than words can tell. 
Love, Liz

(PS If you want to know the current status of my life/project, check the time on this post)




December 13, 2011

MmmmHmmm

The results of the tiny twisty bun hair from last night.

A Photo Essay Regarding my Current Use of Hair Tutorial videos on YouTube, pictures from Pinterest, and such

1. Lauren Conrad's VMA updo as seen on Let's Make It Up! 

2. Curly side ponytail as left over from some 40's-esque curls. (No makeup even!)
3. Upside down french braid as seen on Pinterest
(thanks to Heather for the braiding and Bekah for the adorable bobby pins)
  

4. And currently waiting to have big curls with tiny buns as seen on love Maegan

December 9, 2011

Witty Banter


I'd like to recount, in semi-accurate fashion, a particularly fantastic encounter I recently had.

Boy: I'd really like to go to a Brian Regan show at some point.
Me: He's coming in January. You could make that your New Year's resolution?       
Boy: Well, it's not really the sort of thing you can just go to by yourself.
Me: Are you telling me you can't find an attractive woman who appreciates good humor to go with you?
Boy: Are you applying?
Me: Should I send you a resume?
Boy: As long as you keep it to one page. 


December 8, 2011

Organizational Activities

Well, it turns out that I only did yoga today,
but...in order to multitask, I spent the day
listening to teleconferences from
The Center for Mindful Eating while
vacuuming, cleaning, doing laundry
and rearranging all the furniture in my room.
And I'm pretty sure that furniture rearrangement
is legitimately list-able in my work out log
as "lifting weights." Don't you think?

Thoughts on Cleaning My Bedroom After Midnight

I was talking to roommate Heather tonight about how lately I haven't been doing the things that I normally do, specifically:

1. Work more than one job
2. Clean my room to spotlessness every night
3. Bike, swim, do yoga, and occasionally lift weights

Instead, my life has looked like hours on my laptop editing and reediting my paper, my project, sending emails, taking a nap, biking maybe twice a week, doing yoga like once a week, and cleaning my room like, oh, I don't actually want to admit how not often that has been.

But tonight I decided to take matters into my own hands. I went downstairs to go to sleep a little after midnight, and instead of sleeping, I proceeded to clean my bedroom.

Was it worth it? Yes, I do believe it was. And tomorrow, I'll probably stat bike in the am, do yoga in the afternoon, and swim at night, because it's all about moderation, right?


December 7, 2011

Cereal

When you were little, did you ever just pull up a chair to the table with some milk and cereal and proceed to eat like 7 bowls full?

 Yeah, me neither.

December 6, 2011

Double Her Salary, and Give Her Some Chocolate

Raise your hand if you love my capstone chair,
Pam Hardin, because I sure do.
Someday when I am a Dr. Nurse,
it will be in large measure due to her unending ability
to be reasonable and encouraging and accommodating and fabulous.
In my university evaluation of her class, I wrote, and I quote,
"Give Pam Hardin a raise!" And I think they should.
Because she rocks.
That is all.


December 5, 2011

Utah

Dear Utah,
Thanks for days like today. I could be really sad about the whole 23 degrees thing, but instead I am loving the sunshine.
Liz

December 2, 2011

November 19, 2011. College of Nursing Lounge. HSEB. University of Utah Health Sciences Complex. Salt Lake City, Utah.
It is with a sad sort of fondness that I must bid farewell to this couch. 

Couch, I thank you for the hospital issue pillow and blanket,
your location by the window,
and every single lunchtime sunshine catnap
you've helped me capture during the last 16 months.
You will be missed. 

December 1, 2011

Nail Biting

So, I'm going to admit something embarrassing here.

I bite my nails.

I know, embarrassing, right?

The other day, I was reading about compulsions, and I learned that nail biting is actually classified as a diagnosis in the DSM-IV. It's an impulse control disorder along the obsessive compulsive spectrum. Obsessive compulsive spectrum? Puh-lease. I doubt that.

It's totally normal that I only use white plastic hangers in my closet, and that I always double check my car door to make sure that it really is locked, and that I sometimes run back into the house to make sure the oven is off and my straightener is unplugged.

Totally normal.

November 30, 2011

Tall People and Such

Dear Kaitiface,
Thanks for being my height when you moved in last year. I had all these preconceived notions about you based on your age, but come to find out, age doesn't matter to me when someone is tall. This fact is also apparent in my dating life.
Love, Liz

Fleece

Okay, I'm just going to come right out and say it. I hate fleece. Pullovers, jackets, fleece-lined pajama pants, blankets, pillows, whatever. I hate all of it. But do you know what I don't hate? Spandex. In fact, I just realized that the relationship between how much I love Spandex is inversely proportional to how much I hate fleece. Also, a girl just walked by me in the library wearing a melon-colored fleece pullover, so I think that I should get 2 points for incidental irony. The end.

November 29, 2011

Just thought you should know

19 days until I'm done with school.
Oorah!

November 23, 2011

You Know You're a Nurse When (Part 5)

You see this sign at your apartment complex, 
and you think, "What in the world? Why do they have parking for residents here?" Resident, as in, "a medical graduate engaged in specialized practice under supervision in a hospital"1 rather than, "a person who lives somewhere,"2 which is obviously the more likely option. 

My Thoughts On Life Without Facebook

I love it. That is all.

November 22, 2011

Young Adult Fiction

Before my latest nonfiction obsession/craze, I'd have told you that my favorite genre of literature was YA: young adult fiction. Apparently I still have a soft spot for YA because tonight as I walked onto the 4th floor of the library with about a million things to do, I saw this book sitting on one of the tables.
I promptly sat down and read the entire thing.

November 19, 2011

You Know You're a Nurse When (Part 4)

In my crazy complex dream last night, my patient started having a stroke. We couldn't figure out how to page the stroke team, and I spent half an hour trying to track the team down so I could get him to the CT scanner. As I was doing so, my patient checked out AMA, so I did what any bizarre dream version of myself would do: I went to his house, where I called 911 so the paramedics could get him to some definitive care.

November 18, 2011

Trader Joe's

Dear Trader Joe's,
Please will you come to Utah, please?
Love, A Gluten Free Fan

November 17, 2011

What My Project Looks Like Tonight


Something That Made Me Laugh Out Loud at the Library

Check out this awesome (and very short) post on my brother James' blog. It makes me laugh and laugh.

November 16, 2011

You Know You're a Nurse When (Part 3)

You spell materials incorrectly while writing a paper, and your spell check suggests that you try, "arterials," which isn't actually a word, but sort of looks like arterioles, the small version of arteries in your body that can self-regulate their diameter based on local chemical factors. Which, even if you aren't a nurse is really cool. Basically, when your tissues don't get enough oxygen and have too much carbon dioxide in them, they make these little arteries get bigger so they can get more blood supply, and therefore more oxygen. Fascinating, don't you think?

November 14, 2011

Fail Quail

The other day at the BYU library, I got this surprisingly awesome message. I am so happy they approved the use of this in real life. 

November 13, 2011

Jenny Oaks Baker

Dear Jenny Oaks Baker,
I think years ago you came through the bookstore distributing demo copies of your CD to the music employees. I didn't listen much to the CD you gave me until today. This, I have come to realize, was a huge mistake. Your music is absolutely spectacular. Here, as a small offering of penitence and gratitude, is a free promotion on my blog.
Love, Liz.

November 12, 2011

Where I've Spent the Last 6 Hours

On day one of my 8 Hours a Day Until I Die Graduate plan, I'm just chillin' on the 4th floor of the HBLL. To my left, we have the complete literary works of Mrs. Stephanie Meyer.
 Well, technically, the complete young adult portion of her literary works since this is the juvenile section. I've never read them, and I don't plan to, but I wonder, is there a shelf in here somewhere with like a hundred and fifty copies of Harry Potter books on it? Because I'd love that. 


November 11, 2011

Stat Biking

I love biking outside in the sunshine, and
I try to keep biking outdoors even during the winters in Utah,
but sometimes it gets too cold to handle, and
I resort to stationary biking at the gym.

When I record my stationary rides in my workout log,
I call it stat biking. It makes me feel more hardcore.

In the past I've complained. At least one time I even said that
stationary biking sucks the soul out of my body.
Maybe I was being melodramatic. Maybe I wasn't. Your call.

But it turns out, I was wrong. (Sometimes it happens).

Where else in the world can I justify listening to the
same 1-2 songs on repeat on my iPod for something like an hour
while I read all the books I've been wanting to read during
the months I was spending my time biking outside in my Spandex?
Turns out stat biking rocks. So that's cool.

November 8, 2011

Yum

Dear Homemade Hummus,
Thanks for being such an excellent vehicle for taco seasoning.
Liz

November 7, 2011

Visitor Parking

Man at Visitor Parking Booth: Are you a BYU student?
Me: No, thank you.
Me: I mean......no. Uh....I mean, I used to be, but I'm not anymore. 

I guess we can all congratulate my mom. It looks like I'm using my manners and saying thank you on a regular (if not entirely appropriate) basis. 

November 5, 2011

The End of the World

Well, it's officially the end of the world.


It all started Thursday on my way to work.
My phone got totally soaked and stopped working,
and it turns out that I have absolutely no phone numbers
saved on my SIM card.
This means I can currently get ahold of:
Jenn, Mom, Dad, The Brothers, my Grandma, and a few others
while using a halfway broken Nokia flip phone from my friend Clara.
To top it all off, I deactivated my Facebook account
after twice listening to one of
the greatest talks ever given on time management.


In other technology deactivation/extermination news,
My laptop (which is covered by AppleCare,
so I can get it fixed for free [go Apple]).
appears to have some sort of hardware issue.
Since I am using it 8 hours a day to work on my project,
fixing of said laptop will occur post-gradation,
which, in case you haven't seen me in the last 24 hours,
is in 35 days.


In light of my current technological purging,
I'm currently constructing a 
complex-yet-technology-free tin can communication system
like Rocky and Emily had in 3 Ninjas.


The end.





November 4, 2011

The Best Part of My Night


Friday night basketball game
(welcome back Brandon Davies)
getting a snack at half time
rocking two stairs at a time
mustard yellow flat gets caught
and falls (not so gracefully) off behind me
boy picks it up and hands it to me
woman sitting nearby says
"Oh. Is she Cinderella?"

November 2, 2011

The Red Sox

I was reading an article the other day about the ridiculous champagne parties in MLB clubhouses following big wins. The best part? 

Johnette Howard: You know, the Red Sox started it.
Renee Richards: Everything the Red Sox do is stupid.


As Howard says, "So there you go."




November 1, 2011

Bellatrix!

Almost as fun as being a Ninja in 2009.

It was the hair that sold me on the idea. 

Ms. Bellatrix Lestrange, the scariest person ever

Saturday
 and Monday
And lest you be concerned about my real life allegiance, Soy de Gryffindor. 

October 31, 2011

Thoughts on Dating

A little over a week ago, I ran into an old friend, and we got to talking about dating. Don't worry, he's short; we were talking dating in general, not specific. During our conversation he enumerated for me the reasons he doesn't like dating. He told me he prefers to casually hang out with girls, and if it sort of turns into a date, that's cool with him, but when he goes on dates, it's just really awkward and there are all these expectations, and he really doesn't like it (run on sentence alert--mine, not his). He prefers keeping it casual with a girl and if they end up dating, cool.

I didn't state my disagreement other than to tell him that I love going on dates (It's true, I do), and if he's feeling too much pressure from his dates, it's probably because he doesn't go on many. The more dates we go on, the less of a big deal they become. But I didn't tell him how I really felt about it, part of my new attempt at life called "Sometimes you don't have to tell people exactly what you're thinking all the time."

The conversation left me a little flustered, and I've been thinking about it almost every day since I saw him, so I decided to tell you, reader, how I really feel. I fundamentally disagree with his philosophies on dating. I think that dating is good for us even when its hard. Things that are hard get easier if we practice. Dating becomes less stressful if we do it more, and we are always blessed when we follow the counsel of our living prophets. 

I agree very much with Elder Dallin Oaks, who counseled young men to, "Start with a variety of dates with a variety of young women...Men have the initiative, and you men should get on with it. If you don't know what a date is, perhaps this definition will help. I heard it from my 18-year-old granddaughter. A "date" must pass the test of three p's: (1) planned ahead, (2) paid for, and (3) paired off."

I don't want my disagreement with this gentleman to come off as bitterness or frustration, because I don't feel that way at all. I feel like young men have, in large measure, stepped up to the plate and done what Elder Oaks suggested. Lots of men are getting it right. I appreciate it so much when a young man calls me, asks me to do something specific on a specific day, picks me up at the front door, opens the car door for me, and treats me like a lady. I know it's scary, and I love that men are willing to do it. I love one-on-one conversations and getting to know men of differing backgrounds in a variety of settings. 

So to the young men who are taking the initiative and dating like Elder Oaks counseled, well done. I applaud your willingness to man up and do something that is hard and scary and risky and in the end, totally worth it. Keep up the good work. 

October 28, 2011

Curl Your Hair and Follow Your Heart

Our friend Anna's mom used to say, "Curl your hair and follow your heart."
Those of you who know me know that I'm not really one to curl my hair. Well, I take that back, sometimes I perm my hair, and every now and again, I use hot curlers to make my hair curly. The rest of the time, I rely on a complex hair braiding system to make my hair messy/wavy. But today, I took Anna's mom to heart. I hot curler'ed my hair and walked out the front door to head to the library. It was really sunny and my heart said, "Wouldn't you rather be biking?" So I walked back inside, put my curly hair in a ponytail, and went for an amazing ride. The wisdom of that decision can pretty much be summed up by the text I just sent to Jenn, "Short sleeved bike ride October 28. I love my life." Also, my hair may or may not look awesome now.


October 27, 2011

BASEBALL

Text message from me to Sam: Baseball is the only stupid thing in life that I care about.

I sent this text after an amazing game 6 of the World Series where the Cardinals made an improbable comeback aided by Mr. David Freese (which has to be the coolest last name ever?).

Got this BP photo here
I realize it wasn't really that eloquent. Sort of like Scott Van Pelt's assertion earlier this year after arguably the best day ever in sports, "Sports are better than anything else, always." After I sent the text, I realized maybe I was being a little too hyperbolic, a little too superlative. (Sometimes I do that). And also, why did I use the word stupid? (Like I said, not that eloquent. Sometimes it happens).  But I got to thinking about all the "stupid" things in life that I love. Not stupid like annoying, but like things that don't actually matter that much. Things like biking, swimming, yoga, helicopters, clear skinny-mouthed Nalgene bottles, crunching on crushed ice, reading Malcolm Gladwell, the Top 25 Most Played songs on my iPod, wanting to bike to Heber, and changing my own bike tires. None of them are really all that important, but they are important because all the little things in life, the "stupid things," as it were, help make me who I am.

So, yeah.

Hi, I'm Liz, and I LOVE baseball.

October 25, 2011

The Heart of Life

If it weren't for Cassidy Treat, I never would have loved John Mayer. If I never loved John Mayer, I never would have loved the following two songs as much as I do. She gets 50 points. Plus, she doesn't eat wheat, so that means she gets like a gagillion.

This is my favorite song for the occasional bad day.  


And this was played extensively in the Summer of 2009 when it became a sort of mantra lifestyle.


October 24, 2011

Gary

Dear Gary,
Thanks for mistaking me for a girl named Brittany, for approving my use of patches on my ripped tire, and for telling me you liked my jersey. But mostly thanks for the way that when I asked you where you'd ridden today, you said, "Oh I just did The Loop and then up and back the other side." Like it was no big deal. Like you said, you got your climbing in for the day. Also, I'm pretty sure I want to be you when I grow up.
Love,
Liz

October 19, 2011

Dear Nathan Pearson,
Thanks for having me identified in your phone as "Ward Liz Nurse." I saw that over your shoulder the other day while I was eavesdropping(?) on your text convo. Thanks for having me so succinctly identified. I'd like to submit to you: Amanda Bike, Blonde Kim, Ken Utah Valley ER Docs, and Robbie Sox. Phone nicknames are the best.
Liz


Dear Bruce,
Thanks for asking me what tribe I was from tonight at 7-Eleven. My wet hair was in braids, and I was wearing a headband, so I can see how you got confused.
Liz


Dear Lifting Weights,
Thanks for giving me an excuse to check out my muscles in the mirror for as long as I want to without looking conceited.
Liz


Dear Bekahface,
Thanks for conveniently taking that three-week-long class with me. I think you're basically the awesomest thing since sliced gluten free bread that tastes like it has gluten in it. That or flourless chocolate cake.
Liz


Dear Sun,
Thanks for coming out so much the last few days. Last night I couldn't figure out why my face was red, and then I realized it's because of YOU! You are so good for my soul, and have the added benefit of giving me lots of Vitamin D, and that's cool too.
Liz

October 18, 2011

Oh That Liz

Once Jennifer and I took her nephew Guille to a baseball game. A couple days later, Jenn and Guille drove past Miller Field
"Guille, look. That's the baseball field where we went to the baseball game with Liz."
"What Liz?"
"You know, my friend Liz. We came to the baseball game here a few days ago."
"Oh, THAT Liz. She's a nurse."

My Favorite Quote from Born to Run


Jenni has been hard-core ever since, running long miles even when Idaho is blanketed by snow. Maybe she's self-medicating against deep-seated problems, but maybe (to paraphrase Bill Clinton) there was never anything wrong with Jenni that couldn't be fixed by what's right with Jenni.
--Christopher McDougall. 

October 17, 2011

October 14, 2011

Danny

Dear Danny,
Thanks for once using the analogy of a duck swimming to describe me when I feel awkward. "pretty smooth on the surface, but paddling like [crazy] underneath." I can't even tell you how many times I've referenced the thought in my life.
Liz


You know you're a nurse when (part 2)



You read the word perseverance, as in, “steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement,” 1 but in your head you think of perseverance, as in perseveration, “the repetition of a particular response, such as a word, phrase, or gesture, despite the absence or cessation of a stimulus, usually caused by brain injury or other organic disorder." 2

It really changes the meaning of a sentence talking about pushing yourself through hard things. 


October 11, 2011

Dear Long Bike Rides,
Thanks for being the only thing in the whole wide world that makes me crave a drink of plain old milk (or melk if we're being honest about my pronunciation).
Liz


Dear McCade,
Thanks for teaching me that when you burn the bottom of a pan, all you have to do is let it soak in some bleach for a while, and it'll be squeaky clean. (Not that I'd know from experience or anything).
Liz


Dear Spaghetti Squash,
Thanks for being gluten free spaghetti of a sort.
Liz


Dear Sticker Patch I didn't See In Time on My Bike Ride With Jenn,
Alright, you got me. Both tires even. Thanks for not being a car, a cattle-guard, rail road tracks or anything else that would blow out my tire. That way, I could use the one tube I had on me to replace my back flat then pump my front tire full of air and sprint home praying it wouldn't go flat. Thanks for letting me make it home in one piece.
Liz




Dear October,
Thanks for the postseason, for fostering amazing comebacks, for hits like this one, for walk off grand slams, and for all things Josh Hamilton. You rock.
Liz


In other news, I started lifting weights again, and I love it. That is all.

October 10, 2011

A Week Ago Today

Alpine loop in the fall colors? Yes, please. 

October 9, 2011

Love This Video



I love this video, especially the part where Elder Holland says, "Brother David Johnson...rushed to the player's side. He shouted to coach and fellow ward member Rex Shaffer, 'I can't get a pulse. He's in cardiac arrest.' These two men, rather miraculously both trained emergency medical technicians, started a life-against-death effort in CPR." I love that whether through miracles (such as that provided through this priesthood blessing) or through extensive medical training (like these awesome EMTs), when God needs a life saved, He will make it happen using us, his servants, as tools to do it. We just have to be in tune and ready. Bring our A games, as Dr. Barlow calls it. Awesome. (I also love saving lives, just as a side note). You can find Elder Holland's full talk here.

October 7, 2011

Oh hey there, funny little t-shirt tag


Can I get this on the front of a t-shirt like this one?

October 5, 2011

Helicopter!

I finally did it! I rode in a helicopter and in a fixed wing with AirMed Ride Along!





(This one's totally staged, they didn't actually let me fly it) 

I am pleased to confirm that flying in a helicopter is every bit as superfabulousawesomegreat as I ever thought it would be. :)

October 3, 2011

Marginalia


If you like writing in your books, you'll probably love this poem by Billy Collins. It's one of my favorites. 

September 28, 2011

My Nephew at the State Fair

Check out the boots and the swag hat. Little ladies man right there.

September 27, 2011

Chain Grease?


Not really sure how this ended up on the outside front of my right shin, but it's a pretty awesome chain stain, if I do say so myself. :)   

September 26, 2011

Ratatouille

Ratatouille! Inspired by the first sixty seconds of this clip from the Disney movie by the same title. If you're interested in the easy recipe I used, you can find it here.




September 24, 2011

Whipstitch

One time I went to a class about penetrating chest trauma. (I was going to link to the Wikipedia article about penetrating trauma, but it had some graphic photos, so for those of you who are less inclined to gore, I withheld. For those of you who like trauma shots, check it out here).

In the class, a cardiothoracic surgeon was lecturing about how we treat trauma that occurs in "the cardiac box," the area inside these lines:
I got this picture here
He started talking all nonchalant about surgical repair of small holes in the heart wall like those caused by bullets and said something like this:

There's gonna be a lot of blood, so you'll need to hold manual pressure on the injury while someone gets your suture ready. You need a big needle and thick suture material. When it's ready, take a bit bite [that's what we call the tissue that we pick up with a suture needle], and throw a whipstitch in there to stop the bleeding.

So I'm like, "What's a whipstitch?! That sounds awesome!"

Well, ladies and gentlemen, thanks to Google images, here is a whipstitch:

I got this picture here 


The next time I saw the word whipstitch, was earlier today while looking at a pair of skinny jeans available from Nordstrom.

So yeah,  just throw a whipstitch in that guy's heart.
NBD.


All Illustration of My Program Demographics


Woman in my class: Cute dress!
Me: Thanks!
Other woman in my class: I know! I was thinking my daughter would like that. 

September 21, 2011

ULCER

Not as in the race, as in, I'm pretty sure I have one. 
It's like this. Once on the way home from St. George, 
after my tri and subsequent IT band issues,
I run out of ibuprofen, 
which is bad because my body/knees is/are not happy about running
so I buy some aspirin at a gas station because it is cheaper than ibuprofen
I have this bottle of aspirin in my cupboard
and when I unexpectedly and regularly start getting headaches,
I start taking the aspirin every now and again. Not like 
a million times a day or anything, 
just when I get headaches and such.
and then one morning I wake up with
gnawing epigastric pain
Maybe I'm imagining that it's gnawing because 
that's what it says in my textbooks,
but it sure feels like gnawing
and it only happens right in the morning
and when my stomach is empty. 
also,
nausea
nausea like more than the usual 
Liz has a stressed out finicky stomach amount.


So, yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm dying. 
That or I have hypochondria.

September 20, 2011

Dear Journal I Just Bought at the Bookstore,
Thanks for having neon hearts all over your cover and having an inside that's made of recycled paper. On second thought, what am I, six? Nope, but that's about how many dollars you cost(ed) so I guess that balances out. 
Love,
Liz


Dear Justin Bieber,
Thanks for letting me really really really like your music. It gives me something childish to own up to on a regular basis, and I think that's good for my self esteem or humility or something. Also for your hair. I really love your hair. 
Love,
Liz


Dear 3b Yoga,
Thanks for having such crazy hard classes for me to attend. I can't remember the last time that my back was this sore for this many days in a row, and that makes me one step closer to this.
Love,
Liz

September 14, 2011

Dear Tim Lincecum,
When is your pitching going to coincide with my traveling? 
Love,         Liz




September 12, 2011

Genius Gave Me The Best Biking Playlist Today

Dear Genius,
Thanks for picking a bunch of music that I love from a bunch of different categories to talk me into climbing a few extra hills on the bike today.
Liz

1). Walls by Tom Petty

2). It'll All Work Out by Tom Petty

3). For You to Notice by Dashboard Confessional

4). If You Don't, Don't by Jimmy Eat World

5). The Lights and Buzz by Jack's Mannequin

6). We Built This City by Starship (Maybe I played this on repeat. Maybe I didn't).

7). Distraction by Angels and Airwaves



September 6, 2011

100% Organic

So Dad sends me home with these delicious, home-grown veggies. 
Mom tells me they make a really tasty soup.
So I make one. 
Squash soup. It's my new fall staple. 

My parents rock. 

September 3, 2011

Slumming It

(http://business.rediff.com/column/2009/dec/09/column-why-indian-slums-are-not-places-of-hopelessness.htm)


One time, I was monitoring a patient as she waited for a procedure. One of our phlebotomists came in, and we talked.


Phleb: What high school did you go to?
Me: Clearfield.
70 something-year-old Patient: Slumming it at Clearfield, huh?


WHAT?! What kind of 70-something white female living in Utah County knows what the phrase slumming it means, let alone uses it (accurately) to describe my high school in the little-known city of Clearfield?


An awesome one, that's who. 



September 2, 2011

In Memory

April 25, 2009
Yoasis is no more. And neither is this shirt. But here they are, immortalized in photo form. 

August 26, 2011

The Best Thing Since Sliced Gluten Free Millet Chia Bread

Dear Shoes I Buy at Exchange Stores for Less than $10 and Subsequently Wear Into the Ground,
Thanks for unselfishly letting me get way more than my money's worth out of you.
Liz
(PS Lest you be mislead, the braided mustard flats are still Superglued together and happily in use)


Dear Workout Log with Butterflies on it,
Thanks for being predominantly pink and way more girly than anything I'd usually use. You are the perfect size and have the added benefit that any six year old girl would love to have you you on her Lisa Frank shelf.
Liz


Dear Moving,
Thanks for being one of my favorite things in life. You help me consolidate and reflect on the past in ways that nothing else can. See you in another eight months or so.
Liz

Dear Postcards,
Thanks for letting me buy you and then forget to send you until I'm already back in the states. Who needs a postcard stamped from Canada or Cambodia when you can get a postcard stamped from good old 84015?
Liz


Dear Fall Semester 2011,
Thanks for being my last semester EVER. Love that.
Liz

August 25, 2011

Bon Iver

It's official, I'm in love. I know, it's the moment you've all been waiting for (When will that girl find herself a man and settle down?!). He's 30, tall, loves music, writes poetry, has great style and even a beard (if you're into that sort of thing), and I love him. You're probably dying to know his name? Or even see a picture? Well, here you have it.


(http://prettymuchamazing.com/mp3/justin-vernon-bon-iver-hazelton)


And as a special treat, I'll even post a video of him playing the piano. 






Justin Vernon. The end.



August 24, 2011

Long Live Google

Dear Bing,
You're tacky, and I hate you.
(Also, you're fat).
 (Just watch from 1:28-1:41)