Why I'm Going Back to School Again.

I have to get certified in Acute Care because I can't stop thinking about it. 

Class starts Tuesday. 

Wish me luck. 

Trauma

I recently started working in trauma again. Being back has been amazing and emotionally overwhelming. The intensity of life and death and the people facing them is fulfilling and challenging in a way that is difficult to explain.

See, in trauma, life-changing and often devastating injuries come as a complete shock to both patients and their families. Some days it's harder to watch than others and when I leave work, I carry a profound heaviness with me. Last week I came home and sprawled out on my front lawn in bare feet and scrubs and stared at the sky. I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't feel like crying. I didn't feel like doing anything. I just stared at the sky. And when I was sufficiently decompressed, I got up and got back to life. Because life is the reason that I do what I do.

Because for everyone who doesn't make it, there's someone that does. For every patient who suffers brain death, others are saved by organ donation. For every spinal cord injury, there is someone who walks away miraculously uninjured.

And I just have to believe that there is more to all of this than just the luck of the draw. I have to believe that there is a God in Heaven who watches it all, who sees our tears falling, and has empathy for us in a way we can't comprehend. I have to believe it because when I go to work, I feel it. I feel God's love for his children. We are not just wandering meaninglessly through a dark life without purpose or hope. There is great purpose to our lives, and even to our suffering.

And though I don't understand it now, I know that someday, somehow, it will all be made right. Somehow Christ's atonement, will bring wholeness to those who have lost. Every sorrow will be recompensed and every tear will be wiped clean. And for now, that's enough to keep me going. 

Black Widows and Other Things

Well, the really great news is that the most stressful event of the last few days has been the part where my dad discovered about a dozen baby black widow spiders in my garage. We were able to take care of that little debacle, but the tricky part was that we couldn't find their progenitor, Le Widow herself. So, she's just hanging out somewhere making sure that anytime I feel the slightest itch, I enter a zone of panic previously only experienced with contemplating the claustrophobia associated with sleeping in a sleeping bag. 

I finally acquired a couch thanks to the lovely Brooke and Mark. I guess that means that I'm officially moved in to the new place? I also emptied out the last of my junk miscellaneous boxes last night which I'm pretty sure means that I deserve some sort of medal of honor for organization? I don't think it should count that I haven't actually put the miscellany away because at least it's all organized categorically?

In other news, the new job is fantastic, the biking in my new city is glorious, my new swimming pool is absolutely lovely, I'm using question marks and I'm headed to a baseball game this evening. Life is good, provided that I don't get arachnaphobified and die.

This is why I lay in Shavasana every night before I fall asleep

I was just reading a blog with the following picture posted on it. 

And I laughed out loud. Mostly because I can so relate. 

Dear espn.com

Thanks for providing us with this poll. I couldn't agree more. The Rays are about 50 billion times better than the Sox. That is all.  

Sometimes Funny Things Happen

So I'm at work. I get a text from Brooke's husband Mark.
What is your specialty?

To which I reply:
Family Practice, but I currently work in trauma

To which he replies:
I meant do you make a mean green jello salad?

Wait, what?

Oh yeah, I offered to bring a side dish to her birthday party.

Everything is awesome.

OCD

I don't actually have OCD, but I can be a little quite compulsive at times. For example, I searched long and hard on the interweb until I found the perfect white hangers at Shopko.com and I bought 60 of them because I was so concerned I might not be able to find them again and I can't live without white hangers. Uh....

What happens when you try to photograph a child.

First he hides.

 Then he looks at his mom.  

Then he climbs around on everyone.  

 Then he closes his eyes, 

 and opens them just in time for everyone else to look away. 

In other news, aren't my brothers attractive?

I lived for almost 2 weeks without the internet, and I didn't die

In the meantime, the nephew got a new pair of Jordan's, but if you ask him about them, he'll tell you they aren't Jordan's, they are HIS. 

I was born in a hospital and other such nonsense.

I'd like to tell you a little story about Nick Homer. 

Once Nick went to eat midnight meal with nurse-friend Brooke. He called her on his way over to the hospital and she asked if he would be able to find it. Nick said:

Oh please Brooke, I was born in a hospital!