A Moment of Truth

Today was an anxious day. Sometimes that happens. It actually started yesterday and carried over into my waking. So I did the best thing I knew how. Put on my best outfit, a little lipstick and crushed the presentation I'd been anxious about giving. I then celebrated by eating, let's be fully honest here, three granola bars, a cheeseburger and all of this candy. Some days are like that. 

My dog and I will now be celebrating in the form of a midday nap. 

Hiking

Little man had a rough day hiking and climbing. He told me why he hates hiking so much, and I quote, "First, you can fall and get ouchies. Second, heights. Third, when you're climbing and it's straight up it's really scary. Fourth, edges." 

The good news is he actually had a pretty good time on the wall. And so did I!

Organized much?

Sometimes when we ask little man to unload the silverware, he also organizes everything by size and category. 

I have no problem whatsoever with it, and it sure does make me laugh. 

Unrepentant

This malicious little fellow isn't the least bit sorry about getting into the garbage. 

Recalcitrant little devil. 

Diet Soda

Woke up the other day and true story didn't want to get out of bed because we had no soda. Jessie and I made a deal that if I got up and worked out, I could get some Diet Doctor Pepper on the way home. You better believe I worked out because, motivation. 

Kelli

Tonight my dear friend Kelli called and we had a lengthy discussion about the ways my father in heaven lets me know how very aware of my circumstances he is. How two people will text to check in on me at the same time when I am struggling. How he tells Jessie to make me list one good thing about my day for each piece of candy I have binge eaten. How people are there for me when I need  them to be. How people feel prompted to help me with things I need, to ask me specific questions right when I need to hear their answer to my response. It's like a hug by a blanket that was just pulled out of the dryer. At the end of this very sincere and wonderful discussion, I realized that our conversation had gotten very real in a way I needed. And I realized, that's a perfect example of what we meant. She asked a question. She continued to probe further and then she asked a question I needed to answer. And then she helped me work through my emotions about the answer. And it dawned on me. Heavenly Father was taking care of me during the conversation where we were talking about him caring for me. And that's why I'm so grateful. This has been happening to me so frequently lately. I am so blessed and wrapped in caring arms, both literal and otherwise. 

Advice I Get From Herbal Tea

Say it straight, simple, and with a smile. That, my friends, is good advice. 

Happiness is a series of choices.

I'm I'm sitting here sipping a cup of Crio Bru, and wondering how I am ever going to be satisfied now that I'm not doing whole30 anymore. Dessert just doesn't taste as good now, and I just want to end my meals with a hint of something sweet. Maybe I'll have to take up dark chocolate.

The great news about life, is that whole 30 has really helped my mood, in spite of my skepticism. I feel much less anxious and over all much better, happier, than I did before doing it. So there's that.

The other day at lunch with the boys, I saw this sign.

I know it was meant to be a statement about how many options you have at Pita Pit, but I've been thinking about it a lot. You see all kinds of pictures on Pinterest about how happiness is a choice and all that, but I don't buy it. Happiness is a lot more than one choice. You don't wake up one sunny Thursday morning and decide to be happy for the rest of your life. Because do you know what's gonna happen? You're going to wake up on a snowy, inverted Monday morning and you're not going to want to go to the gym. You'll want to eat nothing but carbs. You're going to be hit with a wave of depression so severe that you can barely get out of bed. Maybe it won't be those things specifically, but guaranteed, some days are just going to be hard. And happiness is deciding to do all of the hard things you know you need to do. Going to the gym when you don't feel like it. Eating healthy even when you don't want to. Lifting weights when you'd rather be laying in bed feeling miserable. Maybe even deciding to take an antidepressant for a while. And some days you won't be able to do those things. But eventually you will again. You're still going to feel miserable for a bit, but at the end of the day, the happiness will return. Because the thing about happiness is that it comes and goes in waves. Sometimes it's easy and comes naturally. Sometimes it's almost impossible. But it will come back. And you know that it will, so you'll keep making choices that will eventually make you happy again. Even if it's really hard. 

Ponderize

I'm ponderizing this quote this week.

New Glasses

In Our Lovely Deseret

I can't find a you tube link, but seriously the funniest and best song. Brings joy to my SOUL. 

Here are the lyrics taken from lds.org. 

1. 1. In our lovely Deseret,
   Where the Saints of God have met,
   There's a multitude of children all around.
   They are generous and brave;
   They have precious souls to save;
   They must listen and obey the gospel's sound.
2. (Chorus)
   Hark! Hark! Hark! 'tis children's music--
   Children's voices, oh, how sweet,
   When in innocence and love,
   Like the angels up above,
   They with happy hearts and cheerful faces meet.
3. 2. That the children may live long
   And be beautiful and strong,
   Tea and coffee and tobacco they despise,
   Drink no liquor, and they eat
   But a very little meat;
   They are seeking to be great and good and wise.
4. 3. They should be instructed young
   How to watch and guard the tongue,
   And their tempers train and evil passions bind;
   They should always be polite,
   And treat ev'rybody right,
   And in ev'ry place be affable and kind.
5. 4. They must not forget to pray,
   Night and morning ev'ry day,
   For the Lord to keep them safe from ev'ry ill,
   And assist them to do right,
   That with all their mind and might
   They may love him and may learn to do his will.

The first time I heard it, and every time I've sung it since, it makes me smile so hard my face hurts. 

At least I'm not the only one who can't sleep

Little man is wide awake with a case of sore throat, and he's ready to get stuff done. Here's our conversation as I tried to get him back to sleep mode. 

Me: Hey Bud, do you know what time it is? 

Him: No? 

Me: It's the middle of the night. 

Him: (looks at his clock) 3:38 is the middle of the night?! I didn't even know!!

Red High Heels

Since my surgery I haven't been much for wearing heels, but for some reason ye old gams can tolerate this pair. 

Today I really needed church. Feeling the spirit and feeling hopeful and at ease while life outside is chaos. Today a priesthood leader shared some kind words with me that were timely and appreciated. I'm grateful that things don't happen at random and that my father in heaven shows me little by little how he is there with me holding my hand during my gimpy journey. 

Getting flowers is just the best.

These could not have come at a better time. I'm glad God puts people in our paths who can help make our loads seem lighter and more bearable. To the giver of these flowers (she knows who she is) you win at life and I'm grateful for your friendship and your attentiveness. And also that grad school you're looking into will be well worth the tuition you pay for it. 

Black and White Wilco and Wicked Wednesday

The thing about the gym that I forgot while I was spending the winter talking myself into getting out of bed is that I get to wear black and white and unapologetically listen to whatever I want. Happy Wilco and Wicked Wednesday. 

#rockingbody 

My Jokes are Falling on Deaf Ears

My car insurance went up by 400 dollars a year because I was upset while driving one day and got a speeding ticket because I was speeding. It's all very logical. (Side note, why are people always angry about getting speeding tickets? If you're speeding and you get a ticket for it, doesn't that just seem like, I don't know, a consequence for your actions?) 

When I texted looking for moral support, the response:

Shouldn't get mad and drive. 

My response? That's how Teancum died. 

If you, like everyone else, think HUH? Then turn to Alma 62: 35-36.

Get mad and DRIVE. Like a javelin get it?

If you still don't, feel free to call me and I will happily explain how funny I am to you. You can actually just do that anytime, because talking about how funny I am is one of my favorite pastimes. Am I joking? We'll probably never know.